I wanted to ask all of you guys a question, but I think I’ve finally figured it out. When I got to my hotel room yesterday I was surprised to find a garden hose attached to the wall next to the toilet. I know how communal and environmentally friendly some cultures can be so I had no problem with the “not-so-subtle” hint that hotel management wanted me to water the flower bed outside of my 2nd story room window.

I was more than happy to help out with the watering until I realized that the aluminum hose attached to the sprayer wouldn’t reach across the bathroom to the window.  It only came out a few feet from the wall. I was perplexed. You would think that a hotel would plan better so, for the first day of my stay, I filled the ice-bucket with the hose and used it to water the flower bed outside my window.

It was somewhat awkward using the ice-bucket. I’m two stories up and I found myself spilling water on the people walking below. The miniature hose would work so much better if I could get it to reach. I called down to the front desk and explained that I needed an extension for my hose. Apparently there was something lost in our translations from Portuguese to English because the person who answered the phone at the front desk kept telling me that they don’t have such things in this hotel. I let her know that if they wanted my assistance with maintaining the flower bed then they would need to provide the proper tools and all I needed was an extension for my hose.

She told me that she would send someone up to see what I was talking about and we hung up.

Within a few minutes there was an older gentleman knocking at my door. He had his head cocked sideways in that quizzical, perplexed manner when one’s brow is furrowed from confusion. “Your hose needs an extension for the flowers sir?” he asked.

I was a bit miffed. I’m no handyman by any stretch of the imagination but I’ve been to home depot enough times and do a lot of my own work around the house. I know what a hose extension looks like. It was a simple request.

I escorted him into the bathroom to show him that the hose would not reach across the length of the bathroom to the flower bed outside of my window.

He began laughing hysterically and seemed unable to stop for some time. Once he finally settled down and wiped the tears from his eyes he took the hose from my hands. “Sir,” he said while choking back inaudible giggles, “this is not for watering the flower bed outside of your window.”

With the hose in his hand he then gestured to show me where the nozzle actually belonged.

All I could say was, “Oh!”

Once he left my room and I shut the door I could hear him break back into his fit of uncontrollable laughter.

I, my friends, was about to become the talk of the hotel.


Note: Ok, you guys do know that I’m joking right? Even we storytellers need to have a bit of fun every now and then.

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